Monday is my Sunday.

I work Tuesday-Saturday. So here I am sitting in front of the open window enjoying the spring breezes and the sunshine and pondering the large amounts of housework that I need to accomplish.

We had a very social week-end, we saw 3 different groups of friends and took in a movie. Basically this was fun, but it's always very tiring too. I have a lot of trouble not getting exhausted in social situations because I tend to get very hyper in order to mask my actual inability to socialize well. I was a shy child, and that shyness resulted in poor social skills which have haunted me all of my life. I am alternately too reserved, too bouncy or just plain annoying.

I like Mondays because I have the apartment to myself, I have space to think and be, and I can just sit and stare out of the window if I feel like it. I dont' have to talk to anyone, I can just BE.

I can put my thoughts back together and get ready for the week ahead, it's down time in the most real sense, a mini-vacation from the whirlwind of life.

I'm blasting Sting's "Be Still My Beating Heart"

This song has been meaningful to me at many points in my life.

First when Zoe gave me the tape for my 13th birthday.

Again when I fell in love at 14

Again when I fell in love when I was 16.

And again when I got my heart broken at 21.

And again when I fell in love at 21.

Today I listen to it and it still pulls at my heart strings. The music is lush and full, you can almost drown in it. And the words...ah the words ...

. . . It's like singing in the wind
Or writing on the surface of lake
I wriggle like a fish caught on dry land
And struggle to avoid, any helping hand
I sink like a stone that's been thrown in the ocean
my logic has drowned in a sea of emotion
Stop before you start.... Be still my beating heart...