May 18, 1998
Reunite, Reminisce, Refocus

Reunite
So, this weekend I went to the 2-year reunion for my college class. As far as I can tell Smith is unique in having such an early reunion. I can only guess that it is because many recent graduates still have friends in that graduating class, that recent graduates can benefit from meeting up with each other and that it makes the alumnae parade on Ivy Day more interesting.

Whatever the case may be, our class was well-represented at this year's Reunion and it was an experience I won't soon forget. I reunited with several friends after a long and somewhat arduous trip North. Leanne and I had decided to rent a car because it was cheaper than the plane and theoretically quicker than the plane.

Of course, we got lost. First, I missed the exit for the New Jersey Turnpike and forgot that this was the road we were supposed to take to begin with. So we didn't get to New York until 3:30PM when I wanted to be in Stamford at 3:00PM. SO of course we hit traffic. Then, after we'd decided to take the Henry Hudson/Saw Mill to the Merritt, Leanne got confused and missed the exit for the Merritt. This led to a quick jaunt through Yonkers, where I was sure I'd been lost before with my mother. We got ourselves turned around, took a stab at the direction to get back on the Saw Mill, cheered when we realized we were in the right spot and wended our way through the twistiest on-ramp I've ever been on to finally get back in the right direction on the Merritt Parkway.

The volume of traffic was picking up by this time so we got off in Greenwich to look for the Friendly's which I remember being there. We drove around for a while and wound up munching at Wendy's instead and then got back on the road. That detour cost more time so we finally pulled into Northampton around 8pm, tired and hot.

Reminisce
It wound up being worth it. I registered for my room and tromped up to flop on the bed, then went looking for my friends. Wandering around campus brought back all sorts of undergraduate memories ... running to class ... grabbing a quick meal, other walks on other occasions through the dark. Back to Morris House and up the stairs, I was assailed with the scent of old wood and polish and remembered again, sitting up in my window watching the birds in the trees and other students walking by below. Now I was here to help Winnie get ready to step out into the world. Briefly, I relived my own graduation week, the flurry of packing, the lack of sleep, trying to balance being with family and getting everything that needed to be, done before the day of reckoning.

On Saturday, the parade was warm and sunny unlike our Ivy Day in 1996 when it started to rain at the end of the ceremony. Dressed in white again, with my big straw hat, the sun was merciless and we abandoned our assigned seats for the shade of the trees. Sunburn was a common occurrence and we left early to dive into a round of receptions and meeting and greeting and re-meeting of professors and students.

An unexpected friend was found at one of those receptions and we made plans to go dancing later and she needed a place to stay so I offered my second bed. Later on when I ran into her again I donated my meal ticket so she could join her other friends at the picnic. I fled to Fitzwilly's and indulged in a banana daiquiri along with T, Iffer and Ann, as always, for our Smita.

Time's wheel moved inexorably onward and the night fell and the lanterns were lit. I took a half hour to rest and shower and cool off then plunged into the night to find Winnie and others and enjoy the campus turned into a magical wonderland of Chinese lanterns. It was there that I ran into my former academic advisor and had a long chat and thought long and hard about a number of my future plans.

The night ended with dancing and a girl-talk late into the night ... sort of a grown-up slumber party and finally a land of dreams. Sunday we went out for breakfast rather than join the brunch crew on campus and then made our way over to Morris to help our nervous graduates to fix their hair, tuck up their robes and arrange their hoods and mortarboards. I saw them off then scampered off to meet my mother and grandmother for grandma's first visit to Smith.

Up to the Quad I dragged them to witness the hullabaloo of the graduation procession, the jitters of the graduates lined up above where I snapped almost a whole roll of film, the skirling of the pipes and the pounding of the drums in the scottish band and the cheers and cries of yet another emotional rite of passage. We strolled away for lunch on Main St. as the speeches were about to begin and then headed down the road, South towards home again.

Refocus
A welter of emotions, thoughts and changes of heart and mind whipped through me as a result of the week-end. My talks with my advisor re-affirmed my decisions about graduate school, especially after the lingering feeling of regret about my undergraduate degree which tainted the weekend. Everything that I want to accomplish swam back into focus as a result of that discussion and set me more firmly on my course, though my advisor's level of stress was somewhat of a deterrent to jumping into an academic career.

And then there were the myriad talks with friends which refreshed my memory about who they were, who they are, who I was, who I am and who I want to be. It just seemed to help to see the struggles and successes of others which re-valued my own struggles and questions, hopes and fears.

Finally there was the long talk with my mother on the way home which clarified a great number of things which have been on my mind lately. I can only regret not being more open sooner, as I would have spared myself and her a great deal of pain. But it's good that we got some of these things out of the open and taken care of. Somewhat like laying a disturbed spirit to rest at last ...